"It's a good thing..." - NOT!

Poor Martha.
She has now been canonized the patron saint of high-society billionaire bitches everywhere. The very same institution that brought her up from the bonds of housewifery into the extreme upper echelons of American business is now the one that sees fit to lock her up.  I'm shocked but not surprised in the least.    How strangely ironic. 
 
Martha certainly appeals to my own innate domesticity but quite honestly, who the hell has time or the means to fashion table decorations  out of pheasant feathers.  Hell, who raises exotic chickens at their 'farm house' in upstate New York and gather their oh so delicious eggs to whip up omelettes and souffles with an infusion of truffle oil?  Is that the simple life, Hamptons style?
 
Martha is one person i really hate to love.  I profess to dispising what she represents (her super rich Stepford unreality)  but at the same time i utterly and totally admire her for her success and harbour secret desires for her life.   If i had the means, you bet i would don that apron faster than you can say "It's a good thing!'.  Williams-Sonoma look out! 
You know, no one gets to be that wealthy and successful without the hard-assed uberbitch work ethic that she exudes.   I feel sad for to have to sit five months in jail for "lying" about knowing about a stock trade the netted her , what $30-$40Gs(??)  That  is like me forgetting that a cashier gave me a penny more change than necessary and forgetting about it.  How the hell is she supposed to keep track of that when she's got  a billion dollar empire to run??
 
Ahhhh, poor Martha... I hope she makes productive use of her time.  I hope she just thinks of this as a court imposed five month vacation.  Maybe the rest will do her good, maybe Madonna will send her messages about the wonders of Kaballah, maybe she will find god (and then realize, "Wait a minute, I AM GOD!"... just dont tell G.Dubya that...)  I cant wait to see what she tatoos on herself... I wonder who's going to be her prison bitch...??
 
 
 
 

The insanity around Vinsanity.

"Vince is a whiner and a complainer."  "Vince wants to out of the Raptors."  "Vince is soft." 
The sports press here in hockey (Leafs) crazy T.dot have been very unfair to Vince for two years now.  
 
"Vince is a whiner and a complainer." - Has Vince ever whined and complained to the press? No. He hasn't said a word.  Has Vince complained to Babcock, the new GM? No. Babcock hasn't even spoken to the guy.  Has Vince complained to Richard Peddie? Maybe, but Peddie runs the show here (The Leafs AND the Raptors), doesn't everyone in the organzation complain to the man on top?    You think Mats or Pat Quinn or Ken Dryden never let their opinions be known to Peddie.  Even if Vince was disappointed with the organization, doesn't he have a right to be disappointed and perhaps express it to the guy who pays him.  Vince has not said a bad word about his employer at all. 
 
In Vince Carter, we have an undeniable superstar athlete.  Vince Carter has almost single-handedly turned the Raptors to Toronto's second favourite team and remains one of the most popular and talented players in the NBA.  We have not had a more exciting sports personality in this city since the world championship Jays.  Unfortunately for Vince, what we also have is a guy that is caught in an organization that could care less about winning the NBA Championship and more about how many box seats they can fill as added perks to their corporate cronies.  The press loves to criticize Vince and for what, the fact that he has a knee injury and has adjusted his game in order to protect it. He is taking more jump shots and fewer high flying dunks, passing the ball to the other guys who cannot score. Come on! MLSE dont care about basketball in Toronto or the Raptors and are doing the many NBA fans in this city an injustice. MLSE only care about Leafs. They will soon realize that trading Vince away will do nothing but clear out some seats at the ACC.
 
If Vince really didnt like it here, he could have easily bolted for sunny Orlando with TMac and continued their dynamic duo.    By staying here, he got a huge paycheque and a chance to be involved in the building of a worthy 'small market contender'.   Sports fans are a strange bunch sometimes.  In New Jersey, the Nets played very entertaining basketball with a great solid team (before trading away K-Mart) and the stadium was half full.   Across the river, were the Knicks...a losing team with a very full MSG.  In Toronto, we have the laughing stock Raptors with an arena full of dedicated fans, curiosity seekers and everyone else in between. 
 
Sigh, if Vince really wants to be traded, i dont blame him a bit.  All I can say Vince is, good luck to you.  I, for one am glad that you might be going somewhere that acually cares about basketball and watching you.  I'm gonna miss ya!~  As for the Raptors, if we cant beat the Knicks, are we trying to become them? (Kurt Thomas, Kenny Anderson and an aging Mutumbo??)  Looks to me like Isiah is still building the Raptors as he is building the Knicks... 

You are not a strong black woman...

And so another Gay Pride Weekend has passed with as much fanfare as the passing of another bowel movement. Whatever happened to the glittering fabulousness or the raunchily orgiastic 3 day fuckfest that it used to be? Was it just me or did everyone else also decide that they would rather spend the night luxuriating between 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets...ASLEEP, as god herself intended for these sheets!

What exactly are we celebrating? Our right as flaming homos to be as boringly suburban as our breeder friends? All this talk of marriage, registries at Canadian Tire, recipe swapping, great tips on growing the perfect little organic herb garden and GASP!! adoption or DOUBLE GASP!!! inseminating a willing female friend. (we inseminate, we do NOT procreate!...haha)
How the tides have turned! Breeder friends used to listen in envy as i recounted naughty escapades and tell me how 'lucky i was that i dont have to put up with so much shit in order to get laid'. And now we just swap recipes and weigh the pros and cons of Minivans vs. SUVs (which i still loathe... but thats another topic)

One thing i have noticed, contrary to popular belief, the Circuit Party is not dead! Dear Barry Harris, can still reel in the beefcake. All he has to do is bring out his same old tired diva remixes. Now if only the organizers of that disasterous Pride Ball can get it right and not force thousands of circuit boys and wannabees to wait outside of an already dangerously overcrowded and underdecorated tin can. At least the washrooms inside were clean and spacious AND Chaka did her best to be heard over the near riot outside. "I feel for you...!", indeed!

I wonder if all of the tourists that came to watch the parade were hoping to see a steady stream of beautiful boys in their Blohniks, bare-assed leather men or mincy nancy boys (ala Jack). Instead, they got a couple of doods (and dood lookalikes, hello dykes!) clucthing their marriage certificates with the ink still wet and marching directly to the local Homo Depot to get the new garden edging that their double incomes can now afford.

Yes, perhaps i am jaded but you will have to forgive my impatience, I get cranky when my rotadendrum needs pruning and those damn racoons keep tipping over my garbage in search of that last bit of left over herb encrusted tuna steak that i baked last week...